


It Takes a Coven

by ehleymeioh



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic, Gen, Granny is going to kick Dumbledore's ass, No Angst About Dimensional Travel Here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 20:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehleymeioh/pseuds/ehleymeioh
Summary: Granny, Nanny, and Magrat end up watching over a young Harry Potter.  I'm not sure how, but quantum is definitely involved.





	It Takes a Coven

Through the vastness of space, the Turtle, Great A’Tuin, swims through the cosmos, with four elephants upon its back. Upon the backs of these elephants is the Disc, a world of magic and men, trolls and gods. The sun rises high over its hub, Cori Celesti, where gods play their games, and sets by the Rim, where the waters flow over the edge. This story does not take place on the Disc. Rather, it takes place on a world wholly unlike the Disc. For one thing, it is round. For another, there is no Turtle to carry this world[*](h). But there is magic, as a young Harry Potter discovered on a hot June day when someone knocked on Number 4 Privet Drive.

There was nothing else out of the ordinary about the day, Harry thought to himself later on. Dudley was out on a play date at the Polkiss’s, and Aunt Petunia was taking tea with them. She had left Harry with a list of chores to do, and Uncle Vernon with the football game on. The list said to “vacuum,” but the noise drowned out Uncle Vernon’s game, so he demanded Harry sweep instead. Harry was hard at work cleaning the kitchen, knowing that he would not get to eat until the house was sparkling, so it was just as well that Uncle Vernon had chosen to shut the game off just before someone smartly rapped on the door three times, and he had chosen to answer it. And then swear, and try to slam the door shut. There was a loud splintering crack from the door, and Harry poked his head around the corner to see what all the fuss was about.

The door’s corner had been snapped off. In its place was a large heavy looking boot. Attached to this boot was a woman, who might be called “old,” for lack of a better term. She had a straight, eagle-like nose and deep creases on her forehead and by her eyes and mouth. Her face was otherwise unlined, and she had icy blue eyes. This was all topped off by the tall, black hat, with pins in it, that came to a neat point. The woman shoved the door open, forcing Uncle Vernon back several steps and onto his rump. The woman stepped inside, followed by two others, one also old and one rather young. She looked at Vernon, then looked at Harry. “Blessings be upon this house.”

With a splutter and a roar, Vernon jumped to his feet. “I will not be having with this in my home!” The other older woman snickered at this, but stopped with a smile after the first woman gave her a look that might have caused a lesser being’s eyes to shrivel up.

“I understand that you are a busy man.” The first woman continued on. “I also understand that you have a child that you are having trouble finding a caretaker for?”

“Dudders-the other old woman snickered again-is with his mother,” Vernon snarled. “He’s no trouble at all.”

The woman narrowed her eyes on Harry. “Then who is that over there?” Vernon jumped, swung around, and finally noticed Harry watching.

“Get out of here, boy!” Harry started, but the woman subtly shook her head. He paused as Vernon swiveled his head back towards the woman and continued to growl. “He isn’t to be leaving the house, and he certainly will not be put into the care of frea-” At this, the woman’s eyes turned sharp, boring into Vernon like a drill from Grunning’s. “Into the care of fre-” The woman’s glare intensified, and Vernon changed from a beet-like violet to an ashier shade. He swallowed. “Into care for free?”

The woman blinked, the pressure let up and Harry let out a breath he hadn’t know he had been holding. “That’s nonsense. No payment for our services will be required.”

At this, Vernon visibly sagged. “Oh.  Well in that case-”

The other older woman piped in. “Like Esme said, no payment required!” This woman definitely could be called old; as far as Harry could tell, she only had a single tooth, and that was working away at the stem of a pipe. She had a grin that others might call a leer and others might call a serial killer’s grimace, and that all would agree was indecent. Vernon stared at her, aghast at the smile. The woman waggled her eyebrows. Vernon recoiled. “I-I...perhaps some brandy? As...” Vernon looked at the splintered door, the bits strewn across his step, and the three women, all with tall, pointed black hats. A dull flush began to creep up his neck, but then he saw the still waggling eyebrows, and the fight drained out of him like a lanced boil. “...thanks, for your generous offer?”

“Oh, well I wouldn’t be so rude to refuse your hospitality.” She stepped forward, but the first woman grabbed her by the wrist.

“Not now, Gytha. When we bring him back, maybe.”

“Oh Esme, there’s got to be a little time for a quick nip now?” Then she caught Harry’s eye, sighed a bit, and shrugged. “Ah well, guess I’ll make do.” She stepped to Harry, who was still on the floor. “Well? Come along, love.” She held out her hand, and Harry took it. She walked him out past the door, with the younger woman following after them. She smiled at Harry, and this smile was more like she had just told a very good dirty joke. “You can just call me Nanny, eh? Nanny Ogg if you’re feeling a little formal. That little slip over there is Magrat, and the lady with the eyes is Esme, or I guess you’ll be calling her Granny-”

“Weatherwax.” Harry turned towards Granny, who was striding towards them.

“Wait!” Uncle Vernon began to bellow. They all turned to face him. “What in the blazes are you lot going to be doing about my door?” Granny arched a solid, gray eyebrow at Vernon.

“You slammed it. It’s none of my concern whether you bothered to check if there was anything in the way or not.” With that, they turned away and left Vernon Dursley by his ruined door.

**Author's Note:**

> Might continue this.


End file.
